Whirlwind

I really do not want to go back to school tomorrow.

I think this is the first time that I really can say that and mean it. This break has been really nice and I am just not ready to be stressed out again.

The past few weeks have just been...RIDIC.

First, Britney was my date to semi-formal =) It was so fun and I was so happy that she could go with me. My sorority sisters are pretty crazy sometimes but that made the people watching so much better.

We had Micah take Roomie pictures of us and they are so so so cute. I am so happy with how they turned out. I will attempt to put one in this post...we'll see how that goes.

The weekend after semi-formal was the weekend of Phi Mu's recruitment workshop. ugh. it was the most stressful weekend that I have had all semester. There was so much drama surrounding the workshop that I got wrapped up in...it was just...ridiculous. Girls can just be really mean to each other and it makes me really, really sad. I try so hard to make everyone happy and it just takes one girl to ruin things for everyone else. I just wish that our girls could respect the time and dedication that their Exec members have for the chapter...a lot of them just complain about everything without offering solutions. Its frustrating to me.

That week I had an exam on Friday, Recruitment workshop all weekend, a presentation on Monday, my capstone paper due on Tuesday, and a research paper due on Wednesday. It was AWFUL. I have never been so stressed out to the point where I just could not get anything done. I would just sit in front of my computer, and stare at it because I couldn't process what I needed to get done. It was a terrible feeling. It was also hard because I was dealing with millions of things outside of school work and it all is just a bad combination. Things at home are hard, my future is up in the air, my religious beliefs have been shaky, I've pretty much let go of Phi Mu...all the things that normally make sense to me and are stable have been scary and off base lately. It makes all the stress amplified.

BUT...i got through the week and then celebrated Britney's 21st which was a huge success =)

We had a get-together for the OSU/Michigan game and it ALSO was a huge success. We had lots of food and friends and...oh yeah...the buckeyes won =)

Finally I got to the much needed Thanksgiving break and sadly, it is over =( It has been really nice to be home and to just...relax...kinda. I got home on Tuesday afternoon and then my mom drove me out to where my parents are most likely moving. Its a really nice area...i like it a lot but it is quite a drastic change. I have mixed feelings about it...I know they need to move, but its just really weird because I've lived in the same neighborhood since I was like...8. Its also sad because the place is much smaller than my house now and my mom is selling a lot of our furniture because it just wont fit. I dont know...its just weird and kinda makes me uncomfortable. I will also be a lot further away from my friends in Westerville...thats probably the hardest thing. I will have to like...PLAN to come visit people. that sucks.

Thanksgiving was much better than I anticipated. My Uncle is suppose to be like...not included in the family anymore because he refused to go to rehab. None of his siblings have talked to him in months, but my grandma still sees him everyday...which is fine, we understand. It got tricky because we normally have Thanksgiving at my house, but my mom needed to keep her end of the deal by not including my Uncle...which we didnt think was all that fair. So, we supported my grandma and let her host thanksgiving and invite my uncle. I was anticipating it to be awkward but it wasnt...it was just fine.

Its been really nice to see some old friends while I've been home. I hung out with Marissa for a long time yesterday which was great. I miss her a lot and it makes me happy that we can still have so much fun together. I worry about her sometimes though...but, thats not really out of the ordinary for me (worrying, i mean). Its interesting because I was exposed to things this week that make me realize how different her and I are now...we used to be like...the same person. It is sad to me to have those realizations but it also makes me really happy that we can still identify with each other and enjoy spending time together.

I am in the process of finishing up my OSU Grad School application. Im meeting a lot of resistance about it from my parents. They really want me to either 1. not go to grad school, 2. work for a company that will pay for my masters (what company will pay for me to get my masters in School Psychology...? none.), 3. Have a full-time job WHILE in grad school....

none of those are what I want to do...but they basically arent going to be helping me pay for grad school so...one of those 3 are what I need to be doing. Its just so frustrating/sad/annoying/ugh to me that when i FINALLY decide what I want to do and when I am finally EXCITED about it, chances are it wont be happening...or I will have to kill myself getting there. greaaaaaaaat. I just dont know what I am suppose to be doing...no matter how much i pray or think or whatever...the problem just keeps coming back. I hate money.

On a happier note, we are decorating the house for Christmas tomorrow before I leave =) It is always a very exciting time for me!

yay Christmas season =)