Moving...again.

I swear I will do just about anything to procrastinate my packing even further - I will even blog!

Let's see, whats been going on in life lately?

Work has been crazy, busy (I'm beginning to realize that I almost am always saying that). I started my new job (Collegiate Services Specialist...ooh la la) and I really like it a lot. It feels a lot more like home to me for some reason. Bigger picture thinking, less paper pushing, more meaningful work to me. All good things :) My main job is to help our collegiate department to be proactive rather than reactive. This is something very new for us and it feels really good. We just have more man-power now and that is SO beneficial.

At the end of July, I was involved in training our 2011-2012 Chapter Consultant team and, oh my, I just think they are fabulous.


I am so glad that I have the opportunity to work more with them this year. They are SO important to our organization and I don't know how they do what they do with smiles on their faces. I've decided that my roll in their journey is to build relationships with them. I haven't run this by anyone official, but I think its important and something that other staff members may not have time to do. These women are consistently on the road without anything familiar. They are sleeping in a new bed every three days and they are meeting ALL new people on every visit. There are days during recruitment that they legit might not see the sun. There is barely anything that is consistent. They need someone that understands what they are going through and that can keep them grounded. I know what they are dealing with, but I also feel like it is our job to remove their minds from Phi Mu every once in awhile, or they will go absolutely crazy and start dreaming in solid pink. No good. Mary, Mary, and Martha wouldn't even think that's good.

They are doing a LOT of good work this semester. Visiting 90 campuses for recruitments, extension at the University of Kentucky, and supporting all of our newest chapters. Important, important, important! Those 90 chapters are in excellent hands. So proud of them.

In other news, I'm moving again tomorrow. We hired movers this time - work smarter, not harder...right? All I have to do is pack up all my stuff and I'm just having so much trouble doing that...its so overwhelming! That probably means I have far too much stuff.

This week was the last meeting for my current small group. Too many of us have moved away, gotten married, or will be moving away in the next couple of months. We had a little time of reflection on Wednesday (which, obviously I am ALL about) and it has been quite a year. We've been meeting together since last September and it is absolutely amazing to see where we have come together. ALL of our lives look very different than they did just 12 short months ago. God has been very faithful to us and has taught us a lot collectively. This really lends itself to another blog post...I'll work on that.

Phi Mu UIFI Session 3

Note: I wrote this about a week and a half ago...not really sure why it didnt get posted!


I mentioned that I was facilitating UIFI in my last blog post so I thought I would write about it post-conference!

In short, it was such an incredible experience. I spent the week with the 10 amazing Phi Mu leaders pictured above. They are students from:

Bellarmine University
University of Alabama
LSU Shreveport
Albright
University of Georgia
Auburn University
Georgia Southern
Georgia College and State University
Appalachian State
Bowling Green State University

They, along with 65 other chapter leaders and 13 interfraternal facilitators made up Phi Mu UIFI's Gamma class and were participants of the 3rd institute held for Phi Mu this summer.

UIFI is the premier leadership development institute out there right now. It is the real deal and has been around for 22 years. It focuses on strengthening Greek leaders, and in turn, the fraternal movement. We spent time talking about leadership and how our character and personal values should play in to that. Do we make decisions that are congruent with our personal values? Congruent with the values that Phi Mu was founded upon? Typically, this is not how we make decisions, and largely due to this, the fraternal movement is under fire. After those discussions, the curriculum took a turn and began to examine this question:

Is Greek life still relevant to the college student or is it a hindrance to the college experience?

During the "Great Debate," it was evident how easy it is to claim that Greek life is a hindrance...how heartbreaking. What are we going to do about it?

It was truly unlike any other leadership program that I've ever been apart of. I watched for 5 days as light bulbs went off for each of the participants. They were inspired to make a change. They built the confidence that they need to live their values. They recommitted themselves to the values of Phi Mu and to elevating our organization.

Mainly, I just feel really lucky to have opportunities to be a part of things like this. I left inspired to propel the fraternal movement forward. We DO matter and make a huge, positive impact on the collegiate experience. There is a long way to go before everyone agrees with us, but I'm committed to seeing change happen.

Here's to hoping that the participants run with their ideas and are supported by their chapters!

Delays.

Ugh. Travel Delays. I don't remember the last time I flew and didn't have some sort of delay. This one is a doozy - 3 hours. Midnight can't come soon enough and 6am is going to come waaaaayyyy too quickly. One really positive thing about this situation: I am still in Columbus and CMH has free wifi. woo!

I have become completely desensitized to how BUSY the Atlanta airport is. I didnt realize until walking through CMH that most everything at ATL stays open pretty much all the time. Here I am sitting in Columbus at 9:09pm and I can't even walk into a news/magazine/snacks store to buy a Diet Coke...they are all closed.

Let me just tell you...there is just SOMETHING about the Midwest. There is just something about it that calms me, allows me to breathe, and to actually (seriously) relax. I am not sure what it is but I really would like to figure it out. Is it just that the Midwest is what I know? Is it just because it is home and that its typically an escape from responsibility? Would Atlanta feel this way if I were FROM the south? Maybe.

When I am home, I spend a lot of time wondering if/when I will return for good. I really do like Atlanta but there is just something inside of me that doesnt feel like it is home yet. I still say "well, im from ohio, but I live in Atlanta." I've been there 2 years. Will I ever feel like it is right to claim Atlanta my home? Not to mention how my friends and family make me feel when I am here. My friends are seriously the very best. Its so...cheesy...but I feel so whole when I am around them. My girlfriends are the kind that you can talk about absolutely anything with and my guy friends just...are awesome. I laugh so hard when I am around them all. I am so thankful for this and know that it is a huge blessing. I am so happy to have them to come home to, even if I wish with my whole heart that I could have them with me in the ATL.

In other words, I had a wonderful, wonderful time at home and I can't wait to return in 10 days :) I am hoping that I might get to see some fireworks from the sky since I have to miss them this year!

Coming up this week: 3 days of work and then facilitating at Phi Mu UIFI at Indiana University - SO pumped. I have a huge passion for all things leadership development and I know this will make me even crazier (in a good way?).

ps - I've decided that I need to work on my blogs cool factor. You know those blogs that you read that just make you want to be its author? I don't want you to want to be me, but I do want you to want to read my blog. Maybe if I was more creative, there would be more for you to read? We'll see.

I wish I had catchy titles...

I am currently sitting in the Hyundai dealership while my car gets its 15,000 mile service. I've almost had it for a year - how is that possible?

Its really annoying that cars are expensive and then you have to pay to have them serviced to keep your warranty. I figure though, its better this 'small' amount of money than hundreds and hundreds if something should really go wrong with it. I'm just thankful that they have wifi :)

Alright - big news. I am 97% (up from a recent report of 95%) that I am NOT going to go to grad school this coming fall. The more I think about it and the more I really, really take the decision to heart, I think it is the right one for my sanity and honestly, for my career.

Part of this decision really irritates me because I put so much time, money, and ENERGY into the whole grad school application/interview process. I think its okay though. I mean, I had my mind MADE UP that I was going, so I think that I had to go through this whole process to really decide where I needed to be and what God wanted for me at this time in my life. It was a good experience and one that I am sure I will be able to look back to in the future. It was a great lesson in decision making, seriously looking at fear and what causes it, interviewing, trusting in the Lord, and learning to live in my moments and not in the future.

(Side Note: every time someone buys a car at this dealership, they announce it on the loud speaker and then everyone claps...is that weird? I would be so embarrassed.)

I never, ever, ever thought that I would be in Atlanta for more than two years, but it really just all comes down to the fact that I cannot keep planning like that. I just cannot because it creates so much tension in my heart and fear and uncertainty. If I just live for NOW and live the best I possibly can (whatever that means?), disappointment will not hit me so hard. Really, a lot of this just comes down to the fact that I absolutely love my job. I love Phi Mu and I love what we stand for as an organization and I love so much being on staff. Not only that, but they appreciate me and value me as an employee. They see more potential in me than I see in myself and they are dedicated to pushing me and to using my talents and strengths for all that they are worth - I really do not know many people that can say that about their work place. My work environment is unlike any that I will have in the future. Everyday, I get to work with my friends and individuals that I look up to so much. Wouldn't I be crazy to give that up to enter into a 2 year program that I am not ever sure I want to be in or that I need?

On top of that, feeling secure in my job also brings with it the security of having a steady (yet modest...) income. I know, of course, that that could be taken from me ANY day, but being without it (aka...becoming more in debt through more schooling) brings an unnecessary stress to my life. Not only would I still have to pay rent in Bloomington, but I would still have a car payment, cell phone payment, and car servicing payments (every 15,000 miles!). Before I do anything that throws me into more school debt, I need to have a better handle on those things. I just feel like going back to school would be something that I would be doing for the wrong reasons. I would be going because that's just...what I feel like I should be doing. That's what my friends did. People who have masters degrees seem very accomplished and apparently, I think that its really important to feel that way. If I am not excited, passionate, and 100% sure that I need to do it, it is not a smart decision.

This has been a really long and drawn out process, but I feel a certain peace about it now. I did not feel a peace about being in Bloomington, but I do feel a peace about staying here. No situation will ever be perfect and I still miss my family and my friends every single day and I absolutely HATE being so far away, but I don't think that God is done with me here yet and I am going to rest in that. I am finally going to get settled here and really start using the city for all it is worth. I am going to continue to love my job and to love my coworkers and my roommates. I have sorted through the feelings of making sure fear was not holding me back and that comfort was not keeping me in Atlanta and conclude that neither of those things are true.

So...here's to loving life, living in the moment, and leaving the rest up to God :)

It's MARCH. Wow.

Alright...so whats been going on in my life lately?

The decision about whether or not to go to grad school has been forced to the back of my mind. I have yet to hear from Indiana about whether or not I got an assistantship and decision time only comes if I do. SO...no sense in worrying about it right now. It claimed way to much headspace for a couple of days and totally drained me. Seriously though its so frustrating to pray and pray and pray about something for a YEAR and to still feel completely unled. I think I'm convinced that God is just letting me take the reigns on this one. It won't matter to Him either way...not in a "I dont care about this decision" kind of way but in a "this decision will not change your relationship with me so...just do what you want to do" kind of way. We'll see...I should be hearing this week.

I sprained my foot/ankle at the gym last week. Dumb. I was in a step class and just stepped incorrectly and rolled my ankle every which way. It was awful. I could barely walk for about 4 days. Now it is a little better...I can walk normally but it is still sore. I haven't been to the gym in a week and a half and I can totally tell. I just feel so...tired, but haven't been sleeping well.

Things I am loving lately:
- Adele's new CD. Shes just...awesome. I love how emotional all of her music is. You can hear how much she identifies with what she is singing. I would go so far as to compare her song writing to that of John Mayer. Big time good.
- Chobani. New favorite breakfast food. My favorite is peach, raspberry is pretty good, too. I really WANTED to like the honey variety, but it just wasn't sweet enough for me. I might try it again though.
- Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung: I love books that are dense with practical spiritual application and wisdom and I believe that this one is. I really enjoyed reading it and have been thinking about it since I finished it.
- Reconnecting with old friends. Its amazing what a little facebook message can do!
- Night of Worship @ Buckhead Church. It seriously does amazing things for my heart/soul every time. I have been feeling completely disconnected and down due to big decisions and other things going on in life and I now feel resolved and just...held. It will all be okay :)
- Cooking. This is not new but I just love when I have time to cook. Heres a recipe that I adopted from Cooking Light last week - SO good. I just added a couple of flavor boosters.


Black Bean Quesadillas:
1 can of black beans - drained
1 can of Rotel (I used the Mexican can - lime and cilantro)
2 cloves of garlic
fajita sized tortillas - this recipe made 5 but could probably be stretched to 6
Sour cream and/or Ortega Taco Sauce
Shredded cheese (I used monterey jack, I believe)

Chop garlic and saute. Add can of black beans and rotel. This will get very wet/soupy but keep cooking it until it thickens.

Set broiler on oven. Add mixture and cheese to tortillas. Broil until top is slightly browned - about 3-4 minutes. Top with sour cream and/or taco sauce! I just used taco sauce to eliminate some calories but I secretly really wanted some sour cream.

YUM!

Rejection.

Ohio State and I are FIGHTING. I found out yesterday that they rejected me yet again. Sigh.

I really thought that I wasnt going to care that much and that I just wanted an answer one way or another, but I was really disappointed and sad. I think there are a couple of reasons for this:

1. No one likes to be rejected.
2. I really, really thought I would get in. I got into Indiana and their program is definitely better than OSUs.
3. I'm homesick and really just want to go home. I don't have any trips home planned and I dont know when I will see my family next and I hate that.
4. I just really want to be a true Buckeye. gah.
5. Going to OSU was the only way for me to not have to move somewhere alone again. I was hoping to avoid the exhaustion of moving and finding a church and finding new friends and still being hours away from home.

These feelings concern me because:

When I read the letter, I had this wave of "ugh...i dont want to go to school anymore." I've never thought that I would only go if I got into OSU, but that thought crossed through my mind yesterday. I need to really process through my motives.

I'm visiting Indiana in a few weeks (flight is booked!) and I am going to give myself that weekend to just...process. It will be very telling and will hopefully either 1. make me feel completely at home and like it is meant to be or 2. make me terribly suffocated making it clear that I am not meant to go back to school right now.

I really feel like God is just...leaving this decision wide open for me. Although its great to have a little bit of that control, its scary. I don't feel terribly led one way or the other (although the grad school path seems to have been laid out for me...) so maybe I cant mess it up.

Hopefully?

Comp Day!

So heres the problem:

I worked all of last weekend, so I am taking today off = a comp day. Problem: I just spent an hour on my email. the eff?! Oh well...I felt like I had to do it so that I could fully enjoy my day without worrying about being behind back at the office tomorrow.

I realized that I in no way documented the snow madness that happened in Atlanta 2 weeks ago. It was CRAZY. The snow/ice mess started on Sunday night. I think, in all, we probably got about 2-3 inches of snow and an inch of ice. In Ohio (or anywhere other than the south, really), this would have been no problem. But, Atlanta only has 9 snow plow trucks. No joke. The entire city. 9 trucks. ALSO they have no idea that salt can be used to MELT ice and snow. Instead, they just cover the mess in gravel and sand in order to give cars more traction. GRAVEL and SAND. Its still all over the roads even though the snow and ice are finally gone.

Anyways, I was off of work for 3 days because I literally could not get there. I couldn't drive anywhere! Day #1 was fine but Days #2 and #3 were boring and made me stir crazy. I spent time with the roomies...we walked to the park to go sledding (so many people had the same idea), walked to eat, took my first trip on MARTA to go shopping (turns out the mall was closed...womp), and made it through it all without slipping and falling! woo! success!